No matter how much you may want to work things out with your marriage, there are some cases where mediation is no longer an option. In these cases, the most important thing to focus on is how to proceed with the divorce.
Although divorce is a difficult decision, in some cases it can be your best option. If the time has come to either end your marriage in divorce, or to try work your way through it, you may be feeling confused and unsure how to proceed. There are some signs that can let you know which direction to choose. However, it is essential to remember that while there are some universal signs, each person and relationship is unique and no article or guide or even therapist should be telling you what to do. It would help if you made that decision for yourself.
That being said, it can be a confusing time. So, take a look at this list of telltale signs that could be letting you know that getting a divorce is the healthiest outcome of your marriage.
Too many Negative Interactions
Negative interactions will happen even in the healthiest of marriages. However, if you are experiencing an excessive amount of negative interactions in your marriage then the healthiest route may lie in the direction on divorce. Even if the negative interactions ‘don’t seem that bad,’ if they are consistent and unrelenting, then you should be considering a divorce.
If you are experiencing extremely severe interactions, even if they are not consistent, then this is cause for concern. Moreover, remember, these negative interactions are not necessarily confined to your partner, causing them- you could be the one causing them as well. There are many who believe that to live in fear of severe arguments, fights, and reactions are okay because they do not happen often. However, it is not normal, and a person does not have to go through life living with severe negative experiences from their partner- even if they are infrequent. This is especially true if the arguments tend to get personal and insulting, where you and your partner are triggered by one event, but the argument takes on a different course.
If you or your partner bring each other down and devalues one another, then you should consider separating. As already highlighted, arguing and disagreements are normal occurrences, but if the disagreement triggers a series of smaller issues brought up to the surface than you need to intervene and plan on seeing divorce attorneys like HarrisHuntDerr.com that can help you through the process.
You and Your Partner Have a Difference in Morals
This is something that, in the romantic stages of a relationship can be easily put on the sidelines. However, after years, these issues and differences tend to rise once more to the surface. Have a different set of morals and values to your partner can often lead to irreconcilable differences. If you and your partner are in a place where you have starkly different morals and values, then your marriage will be domed. Values are the keys to successful marriages. You both need to be wanting similar things in life. So if you realize that you and your partner are heading in different directions, then you should consider separation.
You’ve Already Tried Counseling
If you have already been through counseling with your partner, and the counseling is not working, then you should consider divorce as an option. Through marriage counseling, you will be able to gain insight into your marriage through the eyes of an outsider that is trained to identify underlying issues that you both may not be able to see and then to guide the two of your through them.
However, the counselor cannot do all the work. Your marriage counselor is not a magician. You and your partner will have to be prepared to own up to mistakes and be ready to compromise and change. If either you or your partner is unprepared to make the change, then you will not be able to have a successful result from counseling.
If you or your spouse has pursued another relationship or has been unfaithful, then this can cause irreparable damage. Yes, there are some couples who can recover, heal, and repair broken relationships, but all too often the damage is irreversible. Once trust has been broken, then it is challenging to rebuild it. In the case of unfaithfulness, a counselor can help you to determine whether or not the divorce will be the healthiest option, or if there is a chance to repair the marriage.
In this instance, the exhaustion is not a physical one. If you are feeling emotionally spent or exhausted, then you should seek out a separation or a divorce. If you have already been through counseling and have done all the work that you can to help save the marriage, but are left feeling drained and emotionally exhausted, then your emotional health may benefit the most from a divorce. Similarly, if you are left feeling apathetic, and start to feel as if you don’t care anymore, then you need to make a change. If you or your partner has reached this stage, then it is likely time to hire a divorce attorney. Emotional ‘checking out’ lets you know that there is no room left for emotional investment in the marriage.
This point is left for last, although it should be the first sign that you should seek out a divorce. There is no excuse for abuse- whether it is in the form of emotional, mental, physical, or sexual abuse. Marriage has got nothing to do with ownership, and there is simply no excuse for abuse. If you are being abused, then you should not think twice about leaving your partner.
If you are not sure that divorce is the right option, and are looking for ways to amend your marriage, you can seek out counseling or guides.